A little 'nothing' fic. ^_^. Can't Escape
by Leto

"But... boss, we got you that Aerodactyl!"

"That was over *3 years* ago."

"And we got you... um..."

"You never caught me anything else! I'm not going to pay someone who does NOTHING except rack up more expenses and screw up other people's plans!"

"W-what are you saying?"

"Read my lips... YOU'RE ALL FIRED!"

He slammed the door and was gone.

Jessie, James and Meowth looked at each other disconcertedly, before getting up and walking out the room.

"Um... now what?"

Nobody could answer.


"Alright," said James, "we have lots of skills. I'm sure we'll get along fine in the world."

"James, we're 22-year-old wanted criminals with one Pokemon apiece, no education after flunking out of Pokemon Tech, and no money."

James sweatdropped. "I'm trying to be optimistic. We need some way to get money."

"Why don't we steal Pikachu and sell it for big bucks?" suggested Meowth.

The other two smacked him over the head.


"I know," said Jessie, "James has a big fortune. If we kill his parents, the money rightfully goes to -"

"Goes to Jessiebell," said James, and the others facefaulted. "I am NOT going to kill my parents."

"Fine. Well then, er... let's have a look in today's paper."

Jessie grabbed a newspaper from a man walking past them, and the trio sat down to read the employment section.


"Okay Mr... what did you say your name was?"


"Right. Mr Rocket, why do you feel you're qualified for this job?"

"I don't. I just came 'cos Jessie made me."

The interviewer facefaulted.

"Er, thank you. I'll get back to you."

"But I haven't given you my phone number or -"

James' sentence was cut off as he was thrown out the office.


"Mr Rocket, why do you feel you're qualified for this job?"

"I have lots of experience, and I'm calm in the face of danger."

"Well, that's a good start. Driver's license?"

"I don't have one, but I've driven a lot."

The interviewer facefaulted.

"Mr Rocket, you need a driver's license to be a fireman."

"Can't we pretend?"

*sweatdrop* "Well, you could get a non-driving position, I suppose. Okay Mr Rocket, what would you do in the following situation? Someone rings up anonymously claiming that there is a fire about to be -"


James screamed in panic and ran from the room.


"Now, what made you feel as though you might be interested in working with us here at McDonalds?"

"Because I like food. And no other employers would take me."

"Um... okay. Any past experience?"

"I got kicked out of an all you can eat restaurant because all I could eat was all they had..."

"Eh heh, that's very nice. But you wouldn't be doing that here, of course. ^_^;; Now, we'll give you a call if we accept you. You'll receive this uniform as our gift to you."

"Is it returnable?"

"What?! No!"

"I'm sorry, I can't accept this job."

*muttered* "Good, I had no intention of giving it to you." *louder* "Oh, why's that?"

"I have a reputation to uphold, and that uniform will not promote me any as a master of good fashion."


"JAMES! Why haven't you gotten a job yet?"

James sweatdropped as he looked at Jessie, who had been sitting in front of the TV all day eating pizza.

"Why haven't you?" he countered.

"I haven't been looking. You have. Why can't you get a job?"

"I don't know! If I were an employer, I'd hire me!"

"Hmm, maybe *that's* why you can't get a job."

James sweatdropped. "Don't say things like that. But I should be able to succeed soon, because we don't have to deal with Ash at all. Anyway, in today's newspaper, are there any more openings?"

"I found one thing that's right up our alley. Pokemon, James."

He leaned over her shoulder and read the small advertisement with interest.

"Lab assistant wanted for Pokemon scientist-in-training. Experience and empathy for Pokemon required. Ring 8248 9264 if interested."

Jessie and James looked at each other and nodded, before simultaneously diving for the phone.


"Thank you for coming. You say you've been a Pokemon trainer for several years? May I see your Pokemon?"

"Uh... well, I always believed that, um... building up trust and friendship with a few Pokemon is much more important than catching a lot of different ones. It helps you to... stay focused."

"Roughly translated, you only have one or two?"

James sweatdropped but nodded.

"Can I see these Pokemon? If you've focused on them alone for so many years, you must be good friends."

James smiled at the older man and opened his two Pokeballs. Victreebell immediately grabbed his head in its mouth. James sputtered and struggled and finally managed to pry the Victreebell off.

"Eh heh," he said shakily, "that's a... sign of friendship."

The man raised an eyebrow. "I don't know about that. I've been studying Pokemon for years, and I thought a Victreebell only grabbed someone like that when they considered them -"

"-a friend! Trust me, that's what it is."

James was a bit flustered but valiantly trying not to spoil his chances.

"Okay Mr Rocket, why don't you come in and meet the studying trainer you'll be working for."

James nodded and followed the man into a laboratory. A tall figure was at one end, bent over a Shellder.

He turned and saw James.

He was taller, and older, but they recognised each other.

"YOU!" they both shouted.

"Ah, I see you've already met Ash," said Professor Oak happily, "I think this will work out just fine."

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